Why I Had Kids

Why did I have kids? I mean the real reason... And I'm not talking about the need for family, the love of a child, seeing myself carbon copied so I can live on forever (although that reason is kind of cool).

One of those spawns is bound to be like me. I mean, come on!

 I'm talking about the real reason it's a blessing to have kids.

1. I don't have to get up to get the remote.
     "Hey sissy! Can you get the remote for me!"

2. Laundry sorting is so easy now.
     "Hey kiddo, let's learn colors and sorting!"

3. Feeding the dogs, picking up poop and mowing the lawn myself are a thing of the past.
     "I did it at your age, now you have to."

All those reasons for kids are good, but I have a secret. My real excuse for having kids is that I can go to the theaters and watch kid movies with an actual kid now and not feel like a child predator. And even better, I can sit at home and laugh and laugh and watch certain movies over and over without feeling guilty. "I got this movie for the kids." is always my excuse. Uh huh, yea right.

Here are five movies that I will forever to claim as "for the kids" but honestly, I watch them by myself after they are in bed and giggle for hours... and probably quote daily. Um... there is no probably about it. I quote these movies daily.

Aladdin

To be honest, I saw Aladdin in theaters 20 years ago. (20 years!!!)  I loved it then and kind of forced my kids to love it too--which wasn't that difficult.This was the first kid movie I saw that had so many adult jokes in them. I really think it's one of the first to incorporate adult humor in with the kid fantasy. Of course I don't know that for sure, but this was the first kid movie I saw as a pseudo-adult that I was shocked and delighted see and hear a few jokes I knew would go over a kids' head.

Memorable quotes:
"I don't know where she get's it from. Her mother wasn't nearly so picky."
"I think it's time to say goodbye to Prince A-boo-boo"
Anything the Genie says.
All the songs--my favorite "One Jump Ahead" or as I like to call it, the street rat song. Love singing it at the top of my lungs!

Finding Nemo

I was nursing my very tempermental daughter not too long after she was born and my husband was in Amsterdam living it up, er, I mean training for his new job. My daughter was one of those who stayed up all night and slept all day. And when I say stay up all night, I mean she was awake all night long; crying, whining, eating, pooping. My saving grace was Finding Nemo. It was on heavy rotation on Starz and I would watch it almost every night. I assume the movie absorbed into my daughter's tiny subconscious then because when she saw it when she was older she loved it and still does. Of any other movie on here this one is the most quoted in my house, if it's only Dory's little song about perseverance: just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. We quote this movie all the time.

Memorable quotes: (the ones that get the most use in my house)
"Es-cah-pay! Hey look, it's spelled just like escape."
"To the top of Mount Wanna-hock-a-loogie."
"Bubbles bubbles bubbles"
"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine."
"Mine." Whoever thought of the seagulls saying this is genius, pure utter genius.

Toy Story Trilogy

I can't just pick one of these movies and say it's better then the others. It's impossible. Each one has it's value and I love them all. When my kids ask to watch any of these, I don't hesitate. The only argument is which one. For a long time after it came out on DVD, Toy Story 3 was something they always watched. And I must say I always watched with them, that movie still makes me cry. But the last month or so they've gotten back into part one and two, much to my happiness. The original Toy Story is classic. When they paired Tom Hanks and Tim Allen--at the height of their careers--they made history. Seriously, love these movies.

Memorable quotes:
"You! Are! A! Toy! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear! You're an action figure! You're a child's play thing!"
"You are a sad, strange little man."
"You uncultured swine! What are you looking at, you hockey puck?"
"That wasn't flying! That was falling... with style."

"Where'd you get the cool belt Buzz?" "Well, slotted pig, they're standard issue."
"You heard of Kung Fu? Well get ready for pork chop!"
"You callin' me a liar?" "Well, if the boot fits." "Say it again." "If the boot-tuh, fits."
"You really ARE stinky Pete!"
"Look Barbie, and ugly man-doll!" (this gets said a lot)

"We're either in a cafe' in Paris or a coffee shop in New Jersey."
"That Barbie has nice handwriting." "Uh, Buzz, Barbie didn't write this..."
I can't even quote all my favorite parts of the third movie. I love all of it: the interactions with Ken and Barbie, Buzz's spanish mode and every part that I cried (the incinerator, and then Andy saying goodbye). This whole movie was brilliant.
I'm going to have to go watch them all when I'm done here. I need to!

Monsters Vs. Aliens

This is my favorite of the non-Disney animated movies. There are so many good ones (see honorable mentions) but this one is honestly the best--at least I think so. My husband and I took the kids to see this movie in the theaters, in 3D. It was our first 3D movie with the kids (and the last, to be honest. Sheesh, won't do that until they are older!). Being of the generation of Godzilla and other B-movie monsters I got what they were doing with this. I freakin' love this movie. The voices are perfect: Hugh Laurie, Seth Rogen, Reese Witherspoon and Will Arnett. They were all awesome but I believe the reason I love these movies so much are for these three people: Stephen Colbert as the president; Keifer Sutherland as Gen. Monger; Rainn Wilson as Gallaxhar. I love the scene where they are chasing/being chased by the alien robot in San Francisco; even though it was animated the streets were so real. I said at one point, "Hey! I've been there!" Seriously, can't say it enough... I love this movie!

Memorable quotes:
"Hail Gallaxhar."
"That's a good cup of Joe."
"Boys, set the terror level at code brown, cause I need to change my pants."
"The Omega quadrant? Lame."
"So that's how you want to play it? Eat lead alien robot!... Evidently they eat lead.... I'm brave! I'm a brave president!"
Anytime Gallaxhar said "quantonium" or "incinerator"
"I'd cry if I hadn't lost my tear ducts in the war."
"No, we mean you're monster name. What do people scream when they see you coming? 'Look out, here comes...?'" "Susan." "Really" "Suuuuussssaaannn! Oh, I just scared myself. That is scary!" (I'm giggling right now thinking about this scene!)


Honorable Mentions

I feel like I need to mention other movies that I've enjoyed but didn't make my favorite list because in the last 10 years or so, the animation community has really come to realize that adults are watching these movies as much as the kids are and I appreciate all that they do to incorporate adult humor in them. Of the Disney movies, "Tangled" is making heavy rotation right now. "I know not who you are, nor how I came to find you, but may I just say... Hi. How ya doin'?" And then there is "Cars" "Monsters, Inc." "Wall-E" "The Incredibles" and "Up." Of the non-Disney movies, "Despicable Me" is definately a keeper. "Rule number three: You will not cry, or whine, or laugh, or giggle, or sneeze or barf or fart! So no, no, no annoying sounds. All right?"  Others that I've come to regard highly are "Megamind" "Madagascar" "Kung Fu Panda" "Shark Tale" "How to Train a Dragon" and last but certainly not least (comes in a close second to MvA) "Cloudy Chance of Meatballs."

Now I'm going to go watch a movie or two with my children and probably enjoy every second of it.

I've written this post over the last week or so, so I deeply apologize of any grammarical errors (I just made one there, didn't I?) or spelling errors. This stop and go stuff kills me. I'm trying to be organized and maintain a regular posting schedule but it's difficult for me to do that. I'm more of a sit down, release the word vomit and hit post kinda girl.