My kind of porn appeared on television yesterday. Actual television!
By that, I'm talking Golden Globes.
As like most people who watch porn, I settled into my chair and hoped no one would walk in on me and see me watching. It was almost shameful. But I love it. All of it. And this is my gratutious post about it. Skip if you don't care about this stuff. Because honestly, I care... a lot... almost too much... it's unhealthy really... please don't judge me... ok, judge me, I don't care. I was in heaven.
My afternoon started with the E! channel's coverage. I'm not a huge Ryan Seacrest fan--I'm actually kind of neutral about him--but I am, however a huge Giuliana Rancic fan, I love that woman.
Anyway, the parade of pretty started. And it started with a mother-fucking bang! Early on, to my extreme pleasure this man appeared...
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| The Adam Levine wearing Tom Ford. *sigh* |
I maybe have mentioned him before. I kind of have a small crush on him. Itty bitty really... He looked amazing. Gave me heart palpitations. And what pleased me the most? He almost got into it with Giuliana, she's so nosy and I love it! (click here if you want to see the exchange)
I'll interject here and post the moment with Mr. Levine and my favorite funny man Jimmy Fallon from the actual show. (Have I expressed my love for Jimmy Fallon?) This was my climax moment... you know... that moment. Here's the "money shot" . Uh, hum...
*Need a moment to compose my self*
Much better. Now, I'll move away from the sexy and look at the meat of the Golden Globe red carpet: The dresses. There were so many beautiful women and I ooh'd and aah'd over most of them. But here's my top 6. I wanted to do a top 5, but I couldn't decide which one to leave off, and it's my list so I'm doing six.
6. Zooey Deschanel.
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| Who's that girl.... who's that girl... it's Jess! |
I've always had my eye on Zooey. Ever since she was in "Almost Famous" I've kind of had a girl crush on her. How could you not love her? She's gorgeous, and quirky, and silly, and seems so sweet. Ok, that said, I was anxious to see her tonight. I always loved the originality of her outfits. And I must say she didn't disappoint. This dress was stunning. I love it, loved all of it. And her nails were so freakin' cute too, they had tiny tuxedos on them! Unfortunately, that's where it ended. Her hair was a mess, her make up was too much, it just pulled the attention from how pretty she really is. Love the dress, disappointed about the overall look.
5. Kate Winslet
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| So what if she left Jack to freeze in the frozen Atlantic, she has got it going on ever since! |
Oh, Kate. Kate, Kate, Kate. She just can't get it wrong. I think she is one of the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood today. I think I've seen everyone of her movies and not because I've searched them out, but because her movies are just that good. I fell in love with her in "Sense & Sensibility" (one of my all time favorite movies). I love how she was never ashamed of her curvy body and basically told Hollywood to suck it when they told her she was fat. Bravo, Kate. Anyway, she's on my favorite list because, well, she always is. I love her style. And come on, not many people can pull off a white bottomed gown like this.
4. Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt
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| They look like wax... seriously. |
I know I'm talking about women's gowns but how can I put a picture of Angelina Jolie on here without a picture of Brad next to her? Now, honestly... how can I? I can't find one. They are fused at the hip. They are everywhere together. It's like the ultimate accessory for each of them--a beautiful counter-part to hold your hand. Angie--yea, I call her Angie--looked flawless as usual. The dress fit her perfectly, like it was poured over her body. And Brad, well, I can't say he's ever been flawed. He's never been my cup of tea (with the exception of "Thelma & Louise" and "Legends of the Fall") but I must say, this man is aging so incredibly well. I think he's better looking today then he ever was. Ok, with the exceptions mentioned before... especially Tristen... oh Tristen....
3. Emma Stone
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| Easy A indeed. |
Emma Stone is so funny, and smart and beautiful, it's hard to imagine how young she is. Yes, yes, she's not that young but I have to say in the last 4 or 5 years she's really made a name for herself. Who would have thought the girl who got her nose broken in "Superbad" would grow into this gorgeous woman? She got her nose broken, right? Or teeth knocked out? Oh gosh, I'm going to have to watch that again, aren't I? Darn it!
2. Charlize Theron
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| Va-va voom! |
Oh Lordy! Can this woman do anything bad? No, I didn't think so. She showed up to this shin-dig sick... and she still looked like a million bucks! Charlize is one of those women who I just stare at and wonder if she's real. She's that beautiful. I even thought so years ago when she was in "That Thing You Do!" as Guy's gorgeous girlfriend Tina--who fell for her dentist. I always love seeing what she shows up in. She could wear a paper bag and make it look good. Just sayin'.
1. Claire Danes
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| Angela Chase has grown up! |
"My So-Called Life."
"Little Women"
"Romeo & Juliet"
"Brokendown Palace"
"Terminator 3"
"Homeland"
I have watched this girl grow up. Hell, I grew up with her. She is the worlds best crier on screen. Her face gets all screwed up, her mouth turns down and she's not afraid of the ugly cry. Her smile is captivating, her sarcasm is fabulous, and she can roll her eyes with the best of them. Claire Danes is my best Hollywood friend. I've always thought that. You know, how we all have that "pretty" friend who when you first look at her she seems prissy and doesn't like to get her hands dirty and then when you get to know her, she's doing shots of whiskey with you, cursing like a sailor and daring you to skinny dip at the beach. I believe that is Claire Danes. (I realize she is probably not like that but I'd rather keep my fantasy). And when she walked onto the red carpet yesterday she took my breath away. I was so proud of my Hollywood best friend. Her dress put all the others to shame. I love the simplicity of the front and the jaw dropping back. And she won! She won for best actress! Homeland is an awesome show. If you have Showtime, I suggest watching it. Seriously, I can't say enough about her.
I have one last thought about the parade of pretty yesterday: where the hell was Ryan Gosling? I mean, come on! He was nominated, he had the opportunity to sit at the same table as George Clooney and he passed it up. What the hell, Ryan? Why didn't you show your fine ass, er... I mean face... your fine face.
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Sometimes I need to indulge in my stuff like this so I can forget about the things that stress me out in real life. Money problems, defiant children, absent parents, long distance friends that I want to be so much nearer... all of it sucks and yesterday (and writing this today) gave me a reprieve from all of it. I know all this is fluff but I love it. Fluff is good. Fluff makes me happy. Fluff is my porn.
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