Expectations

It's an ugly word when it's not met. And it's a beautiful word when it is. Exceptations.

I don't have many. No, honestly, I don't. I have expectations of certain people, but it's not extremely great or, as they say (or as it is shouted at me) insurmountable. Ok, so that word isn't used exactly, but you get what I mean. But insurmountable is an awesome word isn't it? Anywho...  (I kind of hate that word and hate that I just typed it. But I'm leaving it.)

Like I said, my expectations are simple.

I expect my kids to listen to me when I talk to them.

I expect my son to not whine everytime something doesn't go his way.

I expect my daughter to follow-through on something and not lose focus.

I expect my husband to appreciate the fact that I'm not a nagging wife and not take advantage of that.

See... simple expectations.

And then I go out into the real world and I realize my expectations are higher.

I expect the idiot teenagers crossing the street to go to Safeway at lunch to actually cross the street and not linger in the middle of the intersection and hold back traffic. Um, hello! Cars are driving here, they have crosswalks for a reason, so people with road rage like me don't run over your skanky little short shorts wearing asses. Short shorts and leg warmers in 30 degree weather is not acceptable. I expect you little assholes to be smarter then that. But of course I'm not their mom so I'll let those douchcanoes navigate those waters.

Barely appropriate for these girls, definately NOT for anyone in high school

I expect the people who pay for their groceries with WIC checks to do their homework before getting into the checkout aisle. Let me clarify this so I don't get misunderstood. WIC is an amazing program and I do not, I repeat DO NOT judge those needing or using it. I have stood in line behind people using them and while, yes, it's a process sometimes, I have the patience to wait for you if you have the things seperated, checks prepared, etc. because that person did his/her homework--as I expect them to. I do not however have the patience for the person who gets in line and doesn't know what check goes for what, gets the wrong product or whatever. I am standing behind you with two unruly children for 20 minutes while you play this game, you selfish asshole. Take a little consideration and realize you are doing this in the middle of the day, the busy part of the day and the checkers don't have time for your bullshit. At the very least have the balls to look me in the face and say, "I'm sorry this is taking so long."

 I've never used WIC but I'm told there is very specific guidelines--and a book with photos if I'm not mistaken--on what you can and cannot buy. The grocery store checker is not your personal shopper. I don't go to her and say, "I'm making lasagna tonight, what do I need to buy? Oh and I only have this much money. Do it for me." No, no. I make a list, I look for the best deal, I do my homework. Please people, don't fall to the stereotype just because it's easier and depend on other people's generosity. You don't act like someone trying to make it work with a wonderful program, you look like a prissy little princess who wants everything done for her.

I wish we all could be primped and pampered... but we live in the real world y'all.

I expect my coffee from the coffee place to be served to be my the cute barista everytime I'm there. None of this pretty young girl stuff, give me the tall blond guy, with the scruff and the million dollar smile. If I'm paying 4 bucks for coffee then I deserve it with a smile... his smile.

I'm sorry... couldn't resist! Coffee with a smile, indeed!

I expect Walmart to be, well, Walmart. Actually, I have no expectations here. Ok, maybe I do. When I go to Walmart I expect to see someone with no pants or even actual buttcrack . I even expect to see sexy hunk of man and when I don't, I'm disappointed. I love Walmart. Seriously. I expect it to be in all it's wonderment when I shop there.

My last expectation is one I have everyday. And it's frustrating sometimes and most times there is nothing I can do about it. I expect my best friend to answer the phone when I call. There, I said it. I'm calling, dammit, why aren't you answering? I know she has spy cameras around my house because there are times she'll call me when she knows I'm getting the phone to call her. She calls me and tell me something her daughter did when she knows full well from her spy cameras that my daughter did the same thing.

This is what her spy cameras look like. They hang out on the fence in front of my house and watch me.
I wish it weren't true but it is... creepy, scary crows with their all seeing eyes. *shiver*

 Is it so wrong that I expect her to call me when she sees I'm about to take a very long walk off a very short bridge? It's like a distress signal, "Oh no! Leslie needs help! I better call her!"

I wish it was this easy--and she was close enough to see it!

I doesn't work all the time and I know she has things she's dealing with too but dammit, answer the damn phone when I call. Sheesh. (I'm being totally facetious here, I hope she, and everyone else knows that!)

Exception met--YAY!

Exception not met--beware, I'm carrying a widdled down spork and I just may shiv you.