Random Thoughts Sunday

I made a promise to myself to keep this blog going, to write at least once a week, to stay diligent and actually commit to and complete something in my life. And I've failed miserably. But I'm remaking that promise, going to drill it into my skull to at least post something, anything, at least twice--yes TWICE--a week, even if it is random thoughts or a silly picture. And because my brain has been completely fried all I have is these random stuff that keep drifting through my mind. And they drift, float for a while then fall flat on their asses because that's just how my brain works.

Now on to the randomness:

1. My Google alerts blew up the past two days. And the things about Google alerts is that sometimes you get an alert for the same thing you already read. Ok, fine. I can accept that. But when my whole inbox is fulled with them I get a little pissy. First off, my Adam Levine alert. He posed nude on the cover of Russian Vogue with his model girlfriend and it seems the Adam Levine world has exploded with his nakedness.If you want to see the pictures, go here but that's all I'm not going to go into detail my feelings because... ah who are we kidding, of course I have to say something! The thing is, while I have probably inappropriate fantasies about him, seeing him so naked kind of made me uncomfortable. I'm totally ok with the fantasies, I like the fantasy. Which is why I never want to meet him, I don't want the fantasy ruined. And these pictures almost ruined the fantasy. Maybe because of the nakedness, maybe because it's his girlfriend but whatever the reason, I was turned off. And there is a video out there of the photoshoot! Um, yea... not going to watch that. Second alert is Chris Pine. (yea, two google alerts about my fantasy men, what of it?) Now, this one is actually good. Really, really good. He's in a new movie with Reese Witherspoon (lucky woman--first Robert Pattinson in Water for Elephants and now Chris Pine--what deal with the devil did she make because I want in on it!) and the trailer for the movie just dropped. If you want to watch the awesomeness, go here . Can't wait for that one! But for the next week, thinking about turning off the Google alerts.

2. My kids. Ugh. My kids. Can I please get one of those sound proof rooms installed in my house, give them a set of boxing gloves, lock them into the room and have them go at it? I am so sick and tired of the fighting and tattling and whining. And after they duked it out, throw all of their toys in there and locked the door again. I'll throw in some Cheez-Its and Capri-Suns every once in a while because I'm a good parent like that.

3. Speaking of being a good parent, apparantly I'm not. I had my kids parent/teacher conferences and both my kids have fine motor skill issues. Seems neither can squeeze a pencil correctly to write legiably. And they scribble, not color. And they can't sit still long enough to even learn to write legiably--they are too busy talking to the other kids, or the teacher, or the teacher's aide, or themselves. Evidentally I didn't spend enough time with them in the younger years doing crafts and fine tuning those fine motor skills and teaching them to focus on the task at hand. But I'm sorry, all those kinds of crafts that require those skills are messy as hell and my kids don't clean up after themselves because they are too busy talking and I HATE cleaning up things they are completely capable of cleaning themselves. See... I'm not a good parent.

4. My husband. Ugh. My husband. He has decided he wants to be a hardcore gamer and started playing those first person shooter games on the PS3. It started with some war game but he couldn't handle the seargent yelling at him calling him a "Mother fucking pussy". So he started yelling back at the game, jokingly at first then it became serious. Then the threw the remote. So I told him to get a new game. He moved on to zombies. But soon he couldn't get past the "boss" fights and would curse and yell at the game again, throwing the remote. Then it was futuristic cyborgs, now it's some game with bloody spirits and I don't even know because I tuned it out. Until he yells profanities at the top of his lungs at midnight, throwing the remote and waking the kids. I may have to intervene soon and take away the PS3. If you can't play nice, you can't play at all. Now shut the fuck up so I can kill things in World of Warcraft and yell at the other players because they are stupid assholes.

5. I ran away from home two weeks ago. A girlfriend of mine invited me to the beach for the night and I jumped at the chance. And there happens to be a casino at the beach as well. Oh darn. I got all dressed up. Ok, I got all whored up. I wore her clothes (not saying my friend is a whore.... well.... maybe a little) and I was so freakin' excited because her clothes are two sizes smaller then mine. And I looked good. And I felt good.

Me, whored up. Don't judge. I haven't been a whore in a while. Felt good.

It was just what I needed. I needed a night to be myself again and not mommy, or wifey. And so what if I'm a total whore when I'm not mommy or wifey. It pulled me completely out of my funk and made me somewhat happier then I've been in a while. Didn't end all the exhaustion. Didn't end the frustration. Just helped me deal with it all so much better. I need more whore days. It felt good to be looked at, and flirted with and just freakin' smiled at. I didn't want to cheat on my husband, I didn't want to forget I was married. I just wanted to feel good about myself again. So when I say I'm a whore--I'm a total whore for my self-esteem.

There was so much more on my mind lately but right now I can't think about any more. I need to make better notes. I need to put another notepad and pen next to my bedside because that's when the ideas pop into my head, when I'm laying in bed at 2am trying to fall asleep. Maybe if I do that then I'll be more inclined to write more and keep my new found promise. Or I may just take this:

courtesy of: fukitol.com