Utter frustration

Being a mom sucks. Especially being a mom with high expectations.

This post will probably be 100% word vomit but I need to write this out because where else am I going to vent about this stuff??

My daughter is very smart. She's very bright and catches on to things quickly. She excels at school in academics and on a personal level. But for some reason when it comes to me and my expectations of her, she is suddenly dumber then a doorknob.

"Clean your room." A simple request, right? She made the mess, she should clean be able to clean it up. Take the square peg out of the square hole, she should be able to put it back. No. Suddenly that square peg is round and it doesn't fit in the same hole. So a million and one questions are thrown at me. "Should I put this here?" "Where does this go?" "What should I do first?" "How long do I have to do this?" "I'm bored."  I don't understand how this child can be so smart and yet so dim when it comes to doing the things I ask.

Then I have to think... maybe I should help her and show her the right way to do it. I'm expecting too much out of her and I should be more patient and let her work at her own pace. Then I remember--I've shown her a thousand times how to clean her room. I've waited patiently as she learned to do it herself. I think she's just biding her time because she knows I will get frustrated with her and do it myself.

See... she is smart. She is bright. She's got me figured out. And she knows I will always give her dinner, even though I've threatened not to if she doesn't listen. She knows I will clean up her room because I can not stand it being messy. She knows... so she waits.

I've always told her, since she was an infant that she can fight me all she wants but Mommy will always win. Of course as an infant, it was a funny thing to say. She would giggle and coo at me, smile that irresistible smile with those perfect little dimples. And I actually thought I would always win. Now, 7 years later the battle of wills is still going strong and I'm afraid she's winning because I'm tired of fighting. It is so much easier to give in then fight with her. What kind of parent is that making me? The fight just exhausts me. And I'm tired of being exhausted.



But, but, but...!!