Not For Dudes. I warned you!

Yes, this is not for the dude, or the dude minded (not that any men read this--at least I don't think so. I should never assume I guess.).

I'm going to talk about my period. Well, not mine specifically. Maybe just periods in general.

You see, I need to infuse a little humor into my life because I've been down in the dumps for so long and I'm trying to pull myself out of the hole.

Not attractive photo. Was going to make the hole brown but then it would look like I was sinking in shit.
Which I guess would be appropriate.

Anyway. being depressed and being on my period just feels like the whole world is out to get me.

Deceitful little thing it's it? Looks so happy, so healthy. I hate her.

So, to laugh at myself and the millions of other women I thought I'd write down the fun euphemisms I found regarding that time of the month. But I found when you google some things you tend to get something else. Did I really want to know what movie scenes guys associate the period to? Example: The elevator scene in The Shining or Stephan King's Carrie (not putting a clip of that movie--it disturbs me too much) or my personal favorite, vampire death on True Blood. Do guys really think that's what it's like?

My guess--and it's an educated one being married and having a dad, older brother, and many guy friends--is YES, that's exactly what they think.  And they would be right... that is exactly what it's like. Or at least that's what it feels like at times.

So, before I googled I wrote down the euphemisms that I use all the time:

Time of the month
Aunt Flo
Don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't look at me for the next week.

These are the ones I know of but rarely use because I can't pull off the wit of most of these sayings (or find the appropriate time to say them)

Surfing the crimson wave (Clueless... love it!)
On the rag (hate this one)
Game day for the Crimson Tide
Waving the Commi flag
Trolling for vampires
Chumming the waters (my husbands personal favorite--used it a lot while we were in Florida)


After a sucessful google search, I learned these new ones that made me snort my coffee out of my nose:

Massacre at the Y
Miss Scarlet as come home to Tara
High tide at the red river
Riding the cotton pony
Red Skeleton has dropped by
Embracing my moon time


Oh, and my favorite scene about periods? Just had to share this because it made me giggle. And I love Ashton Kutcher... especially in this movie. "No Strings Attached". Even the title illicits period thoughts.

I mean, come on! Who wouldn't want a totally cute guy bringing you cupcakes--especially red velvet cupcakes (another euphemism?)--while you are on your period. And make you a mixed tape, er... CD. And the best line--'There's, like, a crime scene in my pants'.

I'm going to embrace my moon time and be grateful I'm not pregnant. *shudder* That's the silver--crimson--lining in it all.