Stop and Stare

I'm not where I want to be and yet, I'm not sure where I should be.

I'm still down in the hole, but dammit, at least there is music to entertain me and to let me know I'm not the only one feeling the way I do.

OneRepublic "Stop and Stare"

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
Something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What you need, what you need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...

I think he's singing to me. I think he took x-ray glasses and managed to look into my soul and then said, "She needs to hear this song. I feel ya, baby. I feel ya."

And this will be my song until there's a song that says "I know you are beat down and feel like a fail mom, wife and friend. I know you want to be someone else, someone who enjoys her life and is happy most the time and can handle the shit that slung at you. I know you want to make a change but just don't know how to do it. It's ok, I'll help you."

I think there's a Grammy in there somewhere, right?

Credit: "Stop and Stare" is from OneRepublic's album "Dreaming Out Loud".