First off, I'm waiting very impatiently for my medication. This medication helps me focus more and not be so scatterbrained. I have been off this medication for 3 weeks now and it's killing me. Upside, I can drink soda, which I can't while on this medication because anything carbonated tastes like I'm sucking on a dirty nickel. So I've been enjoying a soda a day, trying not to get addicted again because I will be taking the meds again soon (hopefully).
**********
I said I never dream about my kids and husband? Well, the last two nights I totally did. The night before it was my kids, and last night it was my husband. But my dream last night consisted of my mother-in-law and the fact that I will never do anything to make her happy. Which directly correlates into my real life. I will always be too lazy, spend too much money, me too mean to the kids and husband, not work enough--if at all, to please her. All the bullshit I didn't give a damn about while in Florida, I suddenly give a damn about here. Every comment, barb, suggestion and lecture now grates on my nerves. Yea, yea, I get it. She's perfect. I am far from perfect. Well, kiss my imperfect ass.
**********
I'm a fat tub of lard and sick of being a fat tub of lard. Today is the start of my rigorous workout regime. Which, in reality is at least a 30 minute walk. That's it. Just a walk. I can't afford a gym membership although I'd love to join the gym with the pool and Zumba classes, and yoga, and treadmills, and elipticals, and weights. For hubs and I to join it's a pretty fair price. But that's a lecture I got from the MIL. "You don't need to spend money on a gym, just go to the high school, walk around the track and kick a soccer ball with the kids." *grits teeth* So, I'm going to drag my tub of lard ass on a walk today. But I refuse to go to the high school or kick any soccer ball on principle alone.
**********
My husband and I are never on the same page when it comes to parenting. Ninety percent of the time, he's cheating, looking at my paper, writing down my answers. The other ten percent of the time, we aren't even using the same book. My book is called "I'm trying my best so my kids don't grow up to be fucked up." His book is called, "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing." It's frustrating especially when a kid wakes up at 4am and can't get back to sleep and can give no valid reason why he/she is awake.
Me: Go back to bed. There is no discussion about it. It's too early. Go. Back. To. Bed.
Him: What's wrong? Why are you crying? What do you want me to do? I don't understand what you want me to do! *nudges me until I want to chop his arm off* What should I do? I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Now we are both tired and cranky because we can't share the same parenting book. Grrr...
**********
I made a Cuban pork roast the other day. By the time it was done I was so exhausted I didn't want to make anything to go with it. So I didn't. My husband was happy as a clam. My kids wouldn't eat it, and me... I ate some but then the guilt of not having a square meal took over so I didn't eat anymore. (See above... fat tub of lard. Not from too much food but from not enough. My body is constantly in starvation mode, won't let go of this goo that it thinks it needs to sustain.) Anyway, I got concerned about my family and the fact that they don't eat well enough and I wondered if they--specifically my husband who refuses to eat anything healthy--will end up with gout. The gout? Or just gout? But then I couldn't remember, was it gout from lack of nutrition or scurvy? Scurvy sounds disgusting. It gives me the heeby jeebies thinking about it. My family is only eating salad from now on, and drink 100% fruit juice. If I don't watch out, my family is going to be zombies.
Regarding above picture... Plants v Zombies was created by the devil to make people like me stay up until 3am playing because you just HAVE to beat the last wave. Then you wake your family because you're cursing at the game because you don't have enough solar power for the chili pepper on the lane that most the zombies are meandering down. Or worse, that freakin' zombie on the zamboni... if you don't burn that lane the skaters will come out and well... game over. Hehe... zombie zamboni...
**********
Another game created by the devil? World of Warcraft. That's all I'll say about that.
**********
A dingo stole my baby!! My dog got a haircut and he looks like a dingo. So I'm going around my house saying "Dingo stole my baby!"
 |
| This is my dog. |
 |
| Here's a Dingo. See the similarity? |
**********
Lastly, I'm going to seriously hurt my husband. The reason being is that he is one huge ball of gas and he usually expells that gas at the worse times of the day. Then he looks at me like "What was that?" He especially likes to fart--yes, I'm saying it FART--when I am on the phone. I go outside for a mommy break or whatever and he follows me out to smoke. He knows I'm on the phone but he doesn't care. He talks and talks then farts and farts. If he doesn't end this soon I'm going to take a sword and chop off one of his extremities and shove it up his butt so the farting will stop and the message is sent that he needs to learn to shut up when I'm on the phone.
*
No comments:
Post a Comment