The List

Everyone has their list right? The “freebie” list? Or is it just me and whores like me? Because in my humble opinion, everyone should have one. It’s good clean fun, and totally harmless if you don’t have stick up your ass and think that I have this list solely because you think one day I will meet each these people and screw them all.

I mean, come on. These freebies are celebrities that I will never meet, that’s the whole point of it. It’s fun to think about. It’s not like I have Jim from next door on it and cute barista from the local Dutch Bros.  <--- Not an indication that I have a crush on him AT ALL, I swear.

Dreamland: But you could meet them. Reality: It will never happen. Dreamland: You never know, I could go to his concert and he’ll see me in the crowd and fall in love. Reality: It will never happen. Dreamland: I could run into him at some bar, buy him a drink and we could—Reality: IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Dreamland: I could shake his hand at his movie premiere and he’ll look into my eyes—Reality: It will never happen. And if by some random chance you do run into this person, he will never give you a second look. You are not a super model. Dreamland: Screw you. I can dream, can’t I? What is a person without her dreams? Reality: A person who lives in reality and is married with kids—that’s who you stupid idiot. Dreamland: You can still dream. Don’t be such an uptight bitch.

So, as I was saying, the freebie list is good harmless fun. You can have musicians, actors, directors and even fictional characters and no one will judge.

Did she just say fictional characters?

Yes, I did. Fictional characters. My best friend has a fictional character on hers. And no, it’s not a pointy eared Vulcan. It is a Star Trek character and I believe he’s human. At least I think… I’ve never been a Trekkie, until recently and James T. Kirk was played by someone on my list. Suddenly I’m all about the Trek. But I digress.

Think about the people in the celebrity world that you would like to know biblically. But the rule is you only get 5. Yea, yea, you can have honorable mentions but there can only be five on your list. And if you so choose, you may laminate your list like Ross did on “Friends.” But remember how that worked out for him… he met Isabella Rossellini and he cut her from his list. So he got nowhere.

Dreamland: See… it could happen. Reality: Shut up.